Just another day

Posted: September 2, 2011 in 2011, Just Another Day, Raising Hearts

It is 9:23 in the morning. I have already had several phone calls from the school this morning.

Desi went to school in leggins that are not allowed unless there is a dress or long shirt over them. She tells me that the office won’t allow her to go get the pants that are in her locker.

I finally connect with the school and Desi never told them that there were pants in her locker.

Desi just wants me to think she is being held hostage at the office, so that I will be upset with the school on her behalf. She is good at that type of manipulation.

Next call was from attendance. School has been in session for one and a half weeks. Jon has three lates already.

Jon cannot manage time for anything and may not even be able to tell you why he was late.

We are going to have a meeting for his IEP to discuss what discipline to give him this year for this, as there cannot be home discipline any more. Jon has reached 18 and now has a contract with us to live at home, pay rent and be his own boss, etc.

We are going to put something in place that will benefit everyone, as Jon won’t really learn how to manage time, no matter what the consequences. Do I limit him when I say that? I don’t mean to. I am just trying to accept reality of living with a son who has FASD who may never be able to take care of himself properly. 

Sigh…..this is what life is for these kids. They can’t manage time, money, their things etc. They don’t tell the truth. We are all ingrained to believe that lying is a sin. If a kids lies, they are a child who was not raised right. These kids lie to protect themselves on a very animal level. They lie to get what they want. They lie because their conscience section of the brain has holes in it.  They have brain damage and can’t feel guilt about stuff like you and I can. We never give up trying to help them learn to be honest. We hope that some how we can make some routes through that brain that will work right.

I raised 7 kids before these two. They all tried lying out, but every one of them found a place in this world that gave them a conscience as they grew. They can cope with life like normal individuals and have no real reasons to lie. Most of them love the Lord and wouldn’t consider lying, especially to their mom. 🙂

FASD is definitely a different road to tread on. We have to have compassion and understanding, or we will be in constant judgement. We cannot treat them the same, but our world doesn’t understand it that way, so for us parents it is a double whammy. We deal with our kids who don’t get it, can’t be honest, etc. and we deal with the world who also doesn’t get it and expects our kids to be up to par and “normal”, or they are BAD kids. They don’t see that this child’s choice was removed when birth mom drank alcohol. Sigh. it is painful being a mom sometimes to FASD kids.

It saddens us greatly that our kids will have the same reputation that our politicians have, lol.  They lie to control our country and get what they want.  Maybe they are all brain damaged. 🙂


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