The little engine that could……..

Posted: October 7, 2011 in 2011, Raising Hearts, The little engine that could........

Why is it that when I see the school phone number on caller ID, that I can feel a surge of adrenalin every time? I mean you would think by now that I would be fully used to a crisis on a regular basis. Right? Why not? Isn’t that what normal life is?  

I will say that is seems to be at my house. I remember when Jon was in middle school and at least twice a week the school would call. “Mrs. Quinn. This is the Mrs. *Principal* at Franklin Woods. Jon is here in the office with me. He is not hurt. He is fine, BUT…………………”

 Then  I would get the rest of the story and is would always mean he was in trouble for something. In those days, I did not know he had FASD. I was living each day just trying to figure out how to help my son and not feel BLAMED for his actions all the time. I did always take some comfort in the fact that he was adopted and surely someone would understand that I was doing my best.

 Fast track to Jon today, a senior, now in special ed with a laundry list of diagnosis’ in place. Everyone at the school knows it is NOT ME, but that Jon has brain damage from his birth mom drinking when he was in her tummy.

 So today the phone rings and it is that school number again. I swear I don’t own a gun, but if I did, it sure would be fun to just once shoot that phone when the school phone number comes up! lol 

  The phone was a recording. “A student in your household was not in attendance at Franklin Heights today”. WHAT? I ran down stairs to see if he was in bed. Nope.  Oh boy. I call the school back, and all the while, I can feel my blood rising up inside me.

 “OH hello Mrs. Quinn. The principal was about to call you…………” As soon as I heard that, I KNEW that I was in for it. I am really trying to learn not to allow things to blow me apart. I can’t handle the after math when it does.

  So I wait. They get him on the phone. I learn that Jon has been caught with a group of kids, before school, just off school grounds and they were all about to GET HIGH!!!!!!!  UM, Ok……….I am not in complete shock here. I knew that Jon had played with this drug before. I have caught him myself. However it has been our policy in the Quinn home that if a teen wants to do drugs, that they hit the road and do it outside my house.

 The problem here is that Jon is very mentally disabled  and  cannot take care of himself out there.

I am requested to pick Jon up at school and take him off school grounds. He has been suspended for nine days. A policeman caught these kids, but the school was able to deal with it so none of them went to jail. Wow, I must be getting use to these close calls with Jail.   Or I should be.

 Now my son has racked up three get out of jail free cards. Does he even realize that this kind of grace does not happen forever? No, my son can’t because he does not EVEN UNDERSTAND the danger.

 Isn’t that scary? He is unable to play football and my heart is broken over that. We worked so hard to get him on the team this year. I do think that is the one thing that has made just a tiny impact on him about this. Can I even imagine for a minute that it might stay up in his brain and remind him next time, just like the hot stove that one got burned on once, might be there to remind one that doing that again might burn you??

 I don’t know yet, probably won’t know for a while, but it didn’t stop him from pulling something else just this afternoon. I told him that he was not playing football today and since I saw him washing his football clothes, he needed to know that so that he would not go to the field.

 One hour later I get a text from his coach. “I just sent Jon home. He is not allowed to ride on the bus tonight for the game. He is not kicked off football though.”

 WHAT?????????? My son just took off to play a game without asking me when just this morning he was GROUNDED, PHONE WAS SHUT OFF and he was FINED FOR THE DOPE? (fining is our way of trying to teach reality as jails do fine people).

 So I go jump in the car and dash out looking for him. He is nowhere to be found. I come home and there he comes around the corner. A picture ot total defeat. “Jon, why did you take off?”

 “I had to talk to the coach”. 

“But Jon, you are grounded and I told you that you could not play football.”

“I just need to ask the coach how long  I am not going to play.”

“Jon you could have called him.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

BUT he did think about leaving when he was grounded. OH WAIT, he already forgot he was grounded? Good chance. Jon forgets everything. Jon’s brain is a blank slate often. Those little neurons that are suppose to fire across his brain, can’t find their way through the maze of holes that are shot in his brain from alcohol. :*(

  That would have been enough today, but as life goes, it wasn’t all. Desi texted me all excited that she got her lip pierced by a friend at school. WHAT???  A KID WITH A NEEDLE STUCK IT IN MY DAUGHTER’S MOUTH? Not a professional?  Not to forget also that I don’t want my daughter pierced in her lip? Obviously she didn’t remember that, as she was so excited to tell me.

 I told her that if she took out the ring, there would not be punishment, but it did add to my streak of adrenalin shots for the day.

So now I am like that little Thomas the train, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can………..just keep on going and not let this day take me down…

Just another day with FASD. It is not my friend. It never will be. You don’t make friends with the perpetrator of your children. You just have to deal with it. 

  Please Lord, protect my two FASD children from themselves. They are helpless Lord. THey need angels with them at all moments. Also God, those need to be the smartest angels you have, because they need to make up for the things that are missing in my kids brains that they had no choice about. Thank you Lord for another day of Grace. Thank you that my son is home tonight and not in jail.

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