A world where sinners are helpless!

Posted: April 6, 2012 in 2012, A world where sinners are helpless!, Raising Hearts




I have to tell you all that when God came in and made a miracle happen for Jonathan, I got a new vision of who He is. We can’t always do it ourselves, and Jon and I needed a God who could help the helpless.

 He has done just that. Jon is doing fantastic now living with my oldest son.

I helped them move into their new apartment and on that day, my son came to me and hugged me so tight. He told me that he loved me and that he was sorry for all that he had done to stress me out.

He also talked about graduating and that they are all allowed to have a teacher that they pick whose hand they want to shake, on the stage. Jon asked me if I could come up and be that person, because I have been the best teacher he has ever had.

HEART MELT! Healing took place on that day and peace has abounded with Jon and I since. All I can do is praise God about it. It has increased my faith for miracles.

I have to say though, that my kids with FASD have taught me more then I have taught them. I have changed more then they have and I have learned something very powerful about our world through the experience of raising Desi and Jon.

 We are a helpless lot down here on earth and some of us are more so then others, but some of us think we are not until something happens and takes away our power, and then we know that we are.

  We all have sinned. As a Christian, I have always looked at the world as having a choice to sin or not. Man was I wrong. We are such weaklings. FASD creates even a larger weakness and people that have it sure need a God with a big amount of grace.

 People are not that filled with grace when it comes to others. People are much more filled with judgement. I can understand how most would not understand our kids. However I now know that there are so many more people in our world that need understanding, patience, love, forgiveness, and grace. FASD has taken away their ability to be the person that they were meant to be.  Even their mom who gave birth to them, didn’t have the grace or knowledge to prevent it. I sure am not given that place down here to judge one person who drinks during pregnancy. If anyone knew the truth about what it was really doing to their child, they would not have done it.  They don’t know. Some can’t even help themselves. Some are affected with FASD themselves and have become helpless addicts because of their own weakness.

  These people are your neighbors, co workers, and friends. They are in your churches, schools, and jails. They didn’t ask to have FASD and they struggle with it daily to keep themselves together. They just need love, but sadly often they end up more punished on this earth because they cannot manage their impulse controls or they have bit the same battle with drugs and alcohol because of their inner pain and turmoil.

 We need to stop looking at our world as black and white.  Everyone isn’t born with the same chance on this earth to choose right from wrong. We are so quick to call people stupid and idiots and dumb etc. We don’t even realize that a whole lot of folks out there do act that way, but they can’t help it. If they were given a choice, they sure would not have chosen this. They are not stupid, dumb or idiots. They have brain damage that happened when alcohol entered their warm cozy womb and intoxicated their brain. They could not metabolize it like an adult could and brain cells died, and didn’t recreate during that time. Holes were created in their brains, where cells were supposed to be. Then that part of their brain collapsed down. Wiring is disconnected and thought processes are hampered. Impulse control is usually so impaired in the FASD brain and to make a choice to not lie, steal etc. has been taken from them.

 We stand in judgement and say the liars and thieves have their place in hell and we are so wrong. There is a God with so much more grace then we realize. He looks down on these poor lost souls who can’t get it and He has mercy.  After all, He created our brains. He knows every little thing about our brains. If a brain can loose the right to choose right things, then God has to give that person what they need to help them choose right things.

 We often call this the exterior brain.

God has given my son an exterior brain and his name is Nathan, my second oldest son. God has seen to Jon’s very need to have someone who loves him and can help him make good choices for life.

 I praise Him for this as I know for a fact that there are lots of people with FASD on this earth that have not been so blessed. I have a heart wide open though to understand these people and love them. They need grace. They need understanding. They need someone in their corner that will accept them and not label them a bad person.

  The gift of love can only cone from God. It is a love that isn’t selfish and a love that sees to the heart of man. I know that God has given me a portion of that gift. Now I need to hand out grace to those that need it.

 Thank you God for showing me a whole population that is helpless and that you are the God of the helpless.

Thank you for that amazing grace that is here for every one of us. I sure love you Lord.


  1. Such a great thing to read of your strength within your faith! Answers do seem to appear when we need them the most, don’t they?

    I haven’t been keeping up on your posts since I have been so busy chasing new information. I was able to attend the University of British Columbia: 5th National Conference on Adolescents and Adults with FASD: It’s A Matter Of Justice – this past week. It was a great happening! I learned a lot of new information as well as had some of the courses of treatments that I follow confirmed by the expert researchers who piloted the efforts in the first place. There was much that could help you, John, and the others you work with & parent. Their site is http://interprofessional.ubc.ca/AdultsWithFASD/

    I started a blog in another place since I find it more conducive to my tech needs (and less corporate $$$ oriented than this WordPress place) it’s at http://theburdenofjoy.blogspot.com
    I’ll warn you ahead of time that I use some colourful language sometimes (I try to keep it to a minimum, but the English language is varied).

    Loads to relay to you, but no time to work on it all right now. Things will come out over the next little while. Hopefully we can help more people to “Get It” about the FASD brain. Hope things are smooth enough for you and those you love.

    James R.

  2. The most helpful Adult FASD site I have found is from the wonderful Dr. Rod Densmore author of the book and DVD series FASD Relationships. It is primarily geared towards Adults, but also relates to early interventions. There is a really insightful interview between Dr. Densmore and a locally well known adult representative diagnosed with FASD named Myles. If all anyone ever sees of this work IS this interview then they will surely learn some important things from the viewpoint of a successful adult. BTW – Dr. Densmore gave me a copy of the book and the complete 5 DVD set at the conference I attended! He is truly a helpful man. the website for the book has other resources and information, but I am limited in my time. http://www.fasdrelationships.ca

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