Imagine being a drug addict before you are born?

Posted: August 19, 2016 in 2016, Raising Hearts

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Imagine you are a tiny baby forming in the womb and you don’t get to make choices about what your life is going to be like daily.

One day you are high on crack, the next you are drunk, the next you are on meth.

Then your womb ends up in jail and you go through withdrawal before you have even seen life. You suffer through that for a while and then after some time, you are back on those drugs again.

You hear terrible stuff because your womb is a prostitute. You hear bad men. Your womb hates you and doesn’t ever talk loving to you. You feel rejection before you even experience life.

Life hurts in this womb every day. You are not loved and you are a drug addict already.

Then you are born into this world and the only bit of coziness you knew is gone and you are placed with a stranger.

This stranger starts to give you love, but that is so foreign to you that you don’t even understand it. You are still in pain because you no longer have your daily drugs.

Your brain is totally injured due to the alcohol, and you can’t process this world like normal.

So now this stranger loves you, but you are numb and still in pain and it is hard to feel anything for a while.

When you finally heal from being numb and in pain of withdrawal, then you are afraid.

You are afraid because the only life you have known from the beginning of your creation has been painful or drugged up. When drugged up, you didn’t experience feelings, so now you don’t know how to experience all this stimulation.

You are easily over stimulated which creates more pain for you. So you learn to protect yourself from everything in life the best you can, because all you know about life, is it hurts.

You reject others because the only people you have ever known rejected you.

You can’t react to stuff like normal kids because all this inner turmoil and emotional upheaval in your brain keeps you in this melt down feeling.

Your body stays in fight or flight all the time and the stress hormones are eating up your brain chemistry causing you depression. But no one sees it. No one understands it and they expect you to be happy, because they love you.

This is how my daughter started. She has FASD and Borderline Personality Disorder, which is the adult name for RAD or Reactive Attachment Disorder.

She is actually amazing, considering all that she has to deal with in her brain.

She stresses me to the max at times, but in reality, she can’t help it.

I just felt like writing this because many of you have kids whom don’t make sense. This type of start is why. It has to be awful.

Lord you saw my daughter’s beginnings and you had your hand on her from the start. Please help her heal in her life and learn to trust and feel safe.  Help her to relax and mend her frazzled mind.  Teach her about LOVE which is WHO YOU ARE! Thank you!

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Comments
  1. Andrea says:

    As an employee of a non profit organization working with children in foster care, I would like to thank you. Thank you for loving your children, thank you for sharing your heart, thank you for understanding, and thank you for educating others. God bless you and your family!

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