Archive for the ‘Don’t Negotiate with Terrorists’ Category


Someone told me today that Bill Cosby made this statement about parenting, lol.

I am sure you have all seen the commercials about the CD/s, The Total Transformation?
Well I wanted to get my hands on them, but I could not afford to pay for them.
However I always wanted to know what those three little words were, that would stop kids from arguing. James Lehman is the doctor who created these and he has since died, but his wife has continued his legacy.
So I prayed about it. I thought maybe someone would loan me the CD’s or something.
Then one day I was at the BMV with Matthew, to get his license.
I was standing in line, when our turn came We got papers etc. and I had one more question for the girl behind the counter. She had gone on to the next person. I tried to ask her anyway, and she looked firmly at me and said “I’m so done!”
I was stumped. I shut right up. I stood there in shock, embarrassed and turned to leave. I wasn’t being rude to her or anything.
Then it hit me. She had used three little words that literally  SHUT ME UP!.
That was a HUGE blessing to me. I was like, PRAISE GOD for giving me this answer. He is so faithful to answer even the smallest of prayers.
After that, I used those words and similar words with my kids.
“We are done arguing” and I walk away.
If I won’t argue with them, then there is no one to argue with.
It has changed my whole household and they don’t argue as much now. What a relief that is after years and years of kids that had to have the last word. Jon is diagnosed ODD, which is opositional and defiant disorder. He LOVES to argue. Not me. I like peace.
Now we have it most of the time. Well until they do something unexpected, lol.

This would work in relationships too. Why do people have to have the last word? Why do we have to be right? It really isn’t worth it and with kids that have trouble understanding, they certainly are not getting it in a shouting match.

Well yesterday I was in an IEP meeting for Jon. There was the IEP teacher and the principal. When we were almost done, I was asking the principal about education for girls in the school that are pregnant. I stated that I did not see even a poster hanging up about not drinking during pregnancy.
He told me that I could get him posters and he would put them up.
He told me that I could contact the health teacher with education.
Then he shared with me that this little lesson about not arguing with the kids that I have educated Jon’s teachers about, has spread so wide in the system, that they are now teaching all the teachers at school to handle kids this way.
Hall monitors are having success with kids in the hall, simply because they will not argue with the kids.
WOW after YEARS and YEARS of trying to make a difference for my kids, this blew my mind that this little idea, that God showed me, and I showed Jon’s teachers, went that far in the school.
I felt just so blessed to know that. All along, my purpose in telling the teachers about this was to keep us from a lawsuit, lol. If teachers argue with Jon, he gets heated and would have a risk of doing something dangerous. He once had a felon on him for slamming a door on a teacher, but praise God charges were eventually dropped. We just needed to keep peace in the school for him though.
So now I find out that all the work to help Jon, has spread to all the kids in the school. Wow, I just praise God for that. Us parents should be given these keys to parenting in birthing classes, lol.  As Bill Cosby says, Don’t negotiate with terrorists!! 🙂
So many of us parents of FASD kids, all want this message to get out. We want services for our kids. We want diagnosis. We want the world to talk about it more, so that children are spared.
After dealing with schools since Jon was in kindergarten, year after year over the issues that they had with him in school, this little nugget that the principal shared with me, gave me so much hope. People are listening. If they are hearing this, then eventually they will hear more. Don’t stop talking Terry. Keep at it. The world needs to hear. Kids are suffering.
 We have been through so much over the years. Teachers haven’t always liked Jon so well, because of his impulsive, not stop talking, and argumentive behaviors.
As parents, we didn’t know why he acted that way until he was almost in high school. Then it wasn’t a doctor that pointed it out, it was my researching as much as possible about FASD, until I just knew, that I knew, my two youngest had it.
 I mean it isn’t such a secret, is it? Desi was born crack positive. That should have been a clue to me. Most drug addicts drink also. In fact we knew her birth mom and watched her live out her prostitution life style and yes we saw her drinking.
  I was the uneducated though. I didn’t know enough about it. Why? Because the world is silent about it.
  Now I am educating the doctors, teachers, other people, trying to get the word out about it. So many children are suffering in the school system and the prison system, because our world has this problem under cover.
Joyce Meyers has stated that she is the MOUTH in the body of Christ. Well I guess I am another one.
While I am left on this earth, I won’t shut up about this.  He is with me and He is opening those doors.
I just praise him for little miracles. Kids are counting on us. Kids are suffering and often no one knows.
Someone has to speak up. Their silent suffering cries to be spoken out.
 They are not bad kids. They are brain damaged and they go through life being treated as though they are bad kids.
Imagine if that was you? Wouldn’t you want someone to speak out, so you could get help? God helps the helpless. These kids are the helpless, but He uses US to do HIS work. I am a mouth in the body of Christ and God is filling it. The children with fetal alcohol syndrome’s heartache, calls me. I must go.  Lead me Lord. Thank you. I hear their cries……………….
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