Archive for the ‘He DID WHAT?’ Category


Posted: September 4, 2011 in 2011, He DID WHAT?, Raising Hearts

My phone rings at 4 am today. Jon is supposed to be at the night shift at Mcdonalds. I am thinking he is probably calling for a pickup ride. He is supposed to call his dad, so I am a little annoyed that he called me and woke me up. Then I notice it is another phone number. My brain works quick and I figure he is using a friends phone.

 “Hello”. …….the caller on the other end is not my son. She states her name and asks me if I have a son. I say yes, not realizing to tell her that I have five sons. I just knew it was about Jon.  The caller is calling in the middle of the night and Jon is not home.

 THen she says “Well he is about to be arrested for breaking and entering and statutory rape with my daughter!”  She is quite angry. I am in shock!!!

I mean someone could have hit me over the head with a hammer and I might have thought it was all a part of the same thing. I felt like someone might have died. Where was I?  Did I just hear that my son’s life was over?

She wanted me to come get him but when she asked his age and I told her 18, that is when she said, never mind then he is going to be arrested for blah blah blah…………..

I walked around dazed for a bit, then had this huge attack with my stomach. As I sat there, I felt this peace come from no where and the Lord was saying it was going to be ok.

 I didn’t feel any better, I just felt that. I had nothing to base it on. I didn’t even know the details of the crime yet.

So I tried to pray and praise the Lord for working this out, but it was feeble at best. I was just in shock.

I did have the presence of mind to get my adrenal meds under my tongue so that I didn’t end up sick and in the hospital too. Shock is very dangerous for someone with adrenal insufficiency. 

So I collect myself enough and decide to call this lady back and find out more. I did and I explain that my son has Fetal alcohol syndrome and that he is adopted. He is in special ed at school.

“Well He knows right from wrong, doesn’t he?”

Hmmm I wasn’t sure how to answer that, as in reality he doesn’t in some ways.

Some how my appeal softened her a bit, I felt.

Then Jon called me. He told me that it was all stupid. Nothing was going to happen. He was just visiting her. She invited him over. They had not had sex. He did not break in. etc. The cops were telling him that there was nothing they could do.

I could hardly believe all that because the words of the mom are ringing in my ears of the charges. She had also told me that she was a prosecutor.So he picked the wrong house to do this in.

I gather up strength to look up the street he was on, in mapqueust and ask Mike if he will take me over there. Mike was fully in on this. He was taking charge. We drive over and there are all those lights flashing from the police vehicle. We can hardly see where to park, it was so bright.

 The son that I love dearly is sitting in that cop car and I don’t yet know the outcome. In that moment I wanted to protect him. I wanted to shout to the world, my son is not ok. Please don’t put him in Jail. It will kill him. You can’t do that to him. He can’t survive in jail any more then he can take care of himself.

I am now learning the story from the officers. The girl invited him in, as mom was out of town. The girl is 15, and Jon is 18. BUT, a new law is in place and now 15 is the age of consent. ( truthfully that law should have been a long time ago as normal 18 year old kids and 15 year olds are just kids.

The officer asks one of the mom’s, they are a couple, if she wants to talk to me. I try to go over and apologize, but the other mom comes out and lights into me with all four barrels. She is going to be putting a restraining order on my son blah blah and she starts coming at me.

 The officers put a stop to that and my husband told me to stop talking and get out of there.

Then he almost said something to her, but held his tongue. I then tell him to stay quiet.

So now Jon is loaded into our car and the bike he “borrowed” for the night is placed in the trunk.

We shake the officers hands and thank them for everything.

Did that just happen? Did I go from hell and thinking my son’s life was over, to simply going home with him?

Ok the real story is that my son skipped work, hung out with a friend, and connected with this girl on the phone and she invited him over, let him in and they were caught necking. Supposedly no sex took place YET.

She consented and with the new law, Jon had not broke into their house, the officers could do nothing about it with Jon.

I have had three hours of sleep and the night before only a few also because Desi had Max over without my consent, and his dad didn’t come and pick him up until 1:30 in the morning.

That will be Max’s last evening at our house, ever.

This will be Jon’s last time of freedom while he lives at home and is completing high school. He is now on house arrest. I took his phone. We sent him to bed so that we can all discuss this after we are rested.

 WE are not sure that Jon still has a job, as he called off work.

Oh Jon, yes your life is not going to be the same any more. You are no longer an 18 year old living at home with a rental contract. Now you live at the Quinn halfway house and there will be rules again, lots of them.

 You are going to be dealt with in a much different manner or you will simply not be here. It is your choice. If you don’t stay here with us, the chances are good that the next call, could be real. WE can’t help you if that happens.

You will no longer be living at home though and roaming the streets at night. I think it is time you were told what you are really dealing with. I haven’t told you that you are borderline MRDD. I didn’t want to limit you. I didn’t want to discourage you. BUt maybe you need to know that so you will let us help you.  You will probably always need help and you need to be willing to allow that.

You can’t keep yourself safe Jon. FASD took that from you.

Mike says that maybe generation X is all FASD damaged and that is why we have  a whole generation of lazy , back talking, law breaking kids that won’t keep jobs.  I think that is a little extreme thinking, but who knows. Alcohol is treated with such casual thought. No biggie. Everyone drinks. People often don’t even know that they are pregnant and are drinking.

 When it damages kids as much as it has, Jon and Desi, it should be taken far more serious then any crime that is out there. It cripples people for life. It takes away their choice to be fully functioning adults. It is just wrong. SO WRONG!!