Archive for the ‘2012’ Category
A Walk in FAS shoes……FAS Awareness day Sept. 9th
Posted: September 15, 2012 in 2012, A Walk in FAS shoes......FAS Awareness day Sept. 9th, Raising HeartsDoctor, get educated on FASD or ……….
Posted: June 2, 2012 in 2012, Doctor, get educated on FASD or .........., Raising HeartsOr what? I mean we are sadly overlooking a huge problem in our society and pretending that it doesn’t exist. In the meantime countless people,children and adults, are not understood, or helped in a manner that is needed.
We all need to be understood, don’t we? Imagine that no one ever tries to understand you. Imagine that no one even cares to understand you. You can’t understand yourself, and the world doesn’t try either. How unfortunate and helpless you would feel.
That is what is going on with much of our FASD population. Doctors just are not getting educated and parents of such children are frustrated.
Why? Gosh, is this all about the stigma attached to FAS? I mean we don’t want to offend birth mom’s who might have drank, so we ignore the problem? Children all over are damaged and in huge need to be understood and helped. Yet parent after parent has tried to get diagnosis and help for their child with FASD and met with ignorance all over.
I have begun to think that doctors get educated and maybe don’t really care about people, but like their job and their paycheck.
This can’t be ignored any more people! These kids need services, diagnosis, help!! We need to open our eyes and get educated on FASD. Kids are going to jail, committing suicide, suffering hugely in schools, etc. because we are not looking at the root cause of their problems and helping them to understand themselves. They need to know and understand what they are dealing with. They need someone to be on their side and stand with them.
If doctors are going to be ignorant about this forever, then I say the blood of these children is on them.
Today I took my daughter to a psychologist for some testing. We need her to be tested cognitively as she has some real issues that affect her life. Her psychiatrist thinks she is just fine and can go to college and be anything she wants to be. After all she has a normal IQ.
Um, really? You don’t understand sir. Many kids with FASD have normal IQ’s, but fall woefully short on executive functioning that so totally affects their abilities to manage their lives on their own.
If doctors are just going to continue to ignore this and not educate themselves, eventually they will be taken over with kids that they can’t help. This is not going to stop happening just because we shut our eyes.
Wake up doctor. Get yourself a little education on FASD.
So back to seeing that psychologist. He talked with my daughter for an entire hour and asked her if she knew why she was here. DUH? So he could test her! So instead he spends the hour asking her why she was here and telling her that she needs to talk over with me why she is here. He brought her out and told me that, and this girl was just totally confused.
Excuse me doctor. We are here so you can test her and tell us WHY WE ARE HERE! You need to figure out what my daughter’s executive function level is. You need to tell us where she is lacking and needs help. Instead it looks like you are the one who needs the help. Let me give you some medicine. GET FASD 101 into your brain. Don’t stay ignorant on fetal alcohol syndrome. It is here. Kids are suffering. Find out about it. Learn how you can help these kids. PLEASE! Stop treating parents like they are the dummies. Today it was YOU who proved yourself to be a college educated dummy.
Just Sayin’
Lord send us a doctor with some brains please. Send us one who has taken the time to understand FASD.
Thank you.
Terry kidznlildogz@aol.com
Relationships you say? Why not? um……..
Posted: May 17, 2012 in 2012, Raising Hearts, Relationships you say? Why not? um........OUR KIDS AND MATES:
So my daughter Desi has a new boyfriend. Last boyfriend is still terrorizing her phone. He was spoiled by mommy and daddy and the world revolved around him, so Desi had to also.
I was glad when she broke it off because her bipolar moods were OFF THE CHARTS. For the duration of the Max and Desi relationship, we had a whole lot of meltdowns and some got people hurt. The police were involved, I was held hostage on numerous occasions and well, it all just didn’t seem worth it to me! Sigh……
So she went a few months and no boyfriend and things were so peaceful. I liked the Desi that was just spending time with girlfriends. She was calm and fun.
Well a few weeks ago she met David. Everything seemed to be going just fine with him for a while. I was settled into my heart that maybe she found someone calm enough for her.
Then I was on facebook today and saw this message on hers:
“U wonder why I get upset?? Well why don’t u look at the big picture buddy!!! U continue to keep doing the same thing over and over even after I asked you not to!! U might as well stick your middle finger up in my face cuz u obviously don’t care about my feelings!! Well u know what?? I’m done with the disrespect dude. Foreal.
“Well I am like, OMG! THat is the same type of stuff that she used to type to her last boyfriend. What is going on??????? I texted her and she said it was David. She said she was fine. FINE? I am guessing that her “fine” and mine, don’t have the same definition.
Oh dear, my mind is being attacked. I am remembering all the rages, police etc. with Max and now David?…………..I have to begin to think that it is much more then MAX OR DAVID, lol
These kids are so emotional and sensitive. Relationships are so hard for them. I am continuously seeing Jon and his girlfriend fighting on FB also. Usually jealousy. I try to tell them to let that stuff go. They love each other and it is not worth it. They are like two toddlers who want to own each other and not allow the other any freedom.
I do think that FASD causes sensory seeking behavior. They have pain inside and adrenaline masks it. It can be like an antidepressant, so they create their own drama to get a “FIX”. Well the rest of us are not really in need of that fix and we are all wondering if we might get through this without a broken chair or a hole in the wall?
Oh LORD send strong and mighty angels to Desi and help her walk in a relationship with a little bit of peace?? If not for her sake, do it for mine! lol. Thanks!
A world where sinners are helpless!
Posted: April 6, 2012 in 2012, A world where sinners are helpless!, Raising Hearts
I have to tell you all that when God came in and made a miracle happen for Jonathan, I got a new vision of who He is. We can’t always do it ourselves, and Jon and I needed a God who could help the helpless.
He has done just that. Jon is doing fantastic now living with my oldest son.
I helped them move into their new apartment and on that day, my son came to me and hugged me so tight. He told me that he loved me and that he was sorry for all that he had done to stress me out.
He also talked about graduating and that they are all allowed to have a teacher that they pick whose hand they want to shake, on the stage. Jon asked me if I could come up and be that person, because I have been the best teacher he has ever had.
HEART MELT! Healing took place on that day and peace has abounded with Jon and I since. All I can do is praise God about it. It has increased my faith for miracles.
I have to say though, that my kids with FASD have taught me more then I have taught them. I have changed more then they have and I have learned something very powerful about our world through the experience of raising Desi and Jon.
We are a helpless lot down here on earth and some of us are more so then others, but some of us think we are not until something happens and takes away our power, and then we know that we are.
We all have sinned. As a Christian, I have always looked at the world as having a choice to sin or not. Man was I wrong. We are such weaklings. FASD creates even a larger weakness and people that have it sure need a God with a big amount of grace.
People are not that filled with grace when it comes to others. People are much more filled with judgement. I can understand how most would not understand our kids. However I now know that there are so many more people in our world that need understanding, patience, love, forgiveness, and grace. FASD has taken away their ability to be the person that they were meant to be. Even their mom who gave birth to them, didn’t have the grace or knowledge to prevent it. I sure am not given that place down here to judge one person who drinks during pregnancy. If anyone knew the truth about what it was really doing to their child, they would not have done it. They don’t know. Some can’t even help themselves. Some are affected with FASD themselves and have become helpless addicts because of their own weakness.
These people are your neighbors, co workers, and friends. They are in your churches, schools, and jails. They didn’t ask to have FASD and they struggle with it daily to keep themselves together. They just need love, but sadly often they end up more punished on this earth because they cannot manage their impulse controls or they have bit the same battle with drugs and alcohol because of their inner pain and turmoil.
We need to stop looking at our world as black and white. Everyone isn’t born with the same chance on this earth to choose right from wrong. We are so quick to call people stupid and idiots and dumb etc. We don’t even realize that a whole lot of folks out there do act that way, but they can’t help it. If they were given a choice, they sure would not have chosen this. They are not stupid, dumb or idiots. They have brain damage that happened when alcohol entered their warm cozy womb and intoxicated their brain. They could not metabolize it like an adult could and brain cells died, and didn’t recreate during that time. Holes were created in their brains, where cells were supposed to be. Then that part of their brain collapsed down. Wiring is disconnected and thought processes are hampered. Impulse control is usually so impaired in the FASD brain and to make a choice to not lie, steal etc. has been taken from them.
We stand in judgement and say the liars and thieves have their place in hell and we are so wrong. There is a God with so much more grace then we realize. He looks down on these poor lost souls who can’t get it and He has mercy. After all, He created our brains. He knows every little thing about our brains. If a brain can loose the right to choose right things, then God has to give that person what they need to help them choose right things.
We often call this the exterior brain.
God has given my son an exterior brain and his name is Nathan, my second oldest son. God has seen to Jon’s very need to have someone who loves him and can help him make good choices for life.
I praise Him for this as I know for a fact that there are lots of people with FASD on this earth that have not been so blessed. I have a heart wide open though to understand these people and love them. They need grace. They need understanding. They need someone in their corner that will accept them and not label them a bad person.
The gift of love can only cone from God. It is a love that isn’t selfish and a love that sees to the heart of man. I know that God has given me a portion of that gift. Now I need to hand out grace to those that need it.
Thank you God for showing me a whole population that is helpless and that you are the God of the helpless.
Thank you for that amazing grace that is here for every one of us. I sure love you Lord.
Why can’t parents get an IEP?
Posted: April 1, 2012 in 2012, Raising Hearts, Why can't parents get an IEP?Does that sound crazy? Not to me now. Here is what my IEP would state:
This parent has children with FASD and even though you don’t understand HER or HER KIDS, you have to treat her with kindness just the same.
You must believe that she is doing the best she can with her kids and what ever she tells you about her kids, IS THE TRUTH.
She is not making up stories ever. She is not just being a “Mother Bear”.
She is disciplining her children. She is not allowing them to get away with everything. Her children look bad sometimes, but they can’t always help it. No that is not an excuse. It is the truth.
So please be patient with her and always give her understanding. She is probably extremely stressed out. Never take her completely personally.
*********************************************************************************************************************************
Where on earth did I come up with an idea like that?
Well I have gone years dealing with people who look at me like I either think I know more then them, OR I am babying my kids, OR I might be making up excuses for my kids, OR I need to take parenting classes, as I just don’t know how to parent my kids.
I am not understood often. WHY? Because people don’t understand my kids. They expect them to bring forth normal behavior as much as possible, all the time. If they don’t, they are lazy, inconsiderate, liars, mean or what ever along those lines.
My kids are human’s with FASD. Of course they can do things wrong like normal kids and miss the boat, but these kids will struggle far more with the same wrongs then a neuro typical kid will.
So here is my story. On Friday this week, I had a chiropractor appointment. While at that appointment my daughter’s coach texted me that she was not there.
So I tried to call Desi to see what was going on. NO ANSWER…….her phone just rang and rang. I knew that she would have walked home from school and had to walk back to the school for track.
We have just recently been going over some of the risks for girls that are taken for human trafficking.
So my mind begins to reel in concern, but not panic yet.
I go to run an errand and try to pace myself fast, so I can get home and see what might be going on.
Next the coach texts me and tells me that she can’t compete on Saturday because she didn’t show for practice.
I was ready to clobber him at that point. My goodness, I was worried that she was ok and he was getting his rules across.
I texted back and told him that I am not worried about the rules right now, but I am concerned for Desi’s life.
I keep trying to reach Desi. No answer.
I pay for my stuff, dash out to my van and try to slightly speed home.
I am praying all the while and redialing her phone. Nothing.
Horrible pictures are trying to attack my mind, but I push them out.
When I get home, there is Desi sound asleep.
DESI!! You are late for track!!!
Oh mom, I was so tired, I fell asleep. She tries to get her wits about her and get dressed for track. Of course she was tired. She had to do a whole lot of make up work that day in school, as I recently got in touch with her teachers to find out what she was behind on.
She also is tired alot with her own physical issues related to asthma.
So I rush her on and we run over to the field. I get out of the car to run over and talk to the coach.
In my mind, we are not that late, as it is just past 4:30 and I thought they practice until 6:30.
I try to see if she can compete, now that she is here. He is saying no.
I try to explain Desi to him. He is not listening. In fact he is refuting the whole thing with “she has been in track for three years and she never did this before”. At this point, I am thinking, Right, I have always been there. My goodness, are you going to penalize this ONE MISTAKE?
He is angry that she didn’t call him. Well that is a no brainer, she was asleep.
He goes on and gets angry with me. I am trying to explain a bit about her disabilities and he is not listening at all.
Then he said rudely that “Ok she can compete, but if she does this again, she will be out of MULTIPLE competitions”.
I knew that wasn’t a good thing to put on her. One mistake and she will miss a ton of track? I just paid 150.00 the day before for her to do this. I don’t want her to miss a ton. My heart is breaking as this man who is normally so nice is not hearing my heart.
Where is the grace for a mistake?
He walks away. I call after him. “Are you angry with me?”
He states that he is angry at the situation.
Angry? Because she fell asleep and missed one track competition??
Desi wants to know what is going on, so I tell her. She says Mom, I am not going to compete.
So I tell the coach and we just leave. She is hurt and doesn’t want to continue in track.
I am hurt and don’t know why this man is so angry because my daughter was an hour late for a practice, because she wasn’t feeling well.
I have just gone through the mother fears about her life, ran home, hurried her to the field and then this.
We go home. I text him and try to explain why we are upset and I end my text with, I think parents of kids with disabilities should be able to have IEP’s so that people would just treat them with kindness even if they don’t GET IT!
Well in the end, this man did apologize to me, but he stuck by his rules.
We tried to just let it all go and she will be back in track on Monday and competing on Tuesday.
I want my IEP. I want people to accept what I tell them and believe me. I want the world to be kind to me, even if they don’t Get it about my kids.
Raising FASD kids is riddled with missunderstanding from outsiders. It is the story of my life really. I am considered over parenting, or under parenting, or over protective, or babying my kids, or not disciplining them. This sounds like I can’t win for loosing, doesn’t it?
FASD is an invisible disability that others see as behavior issues, immaturity, irresponsibility, lazy, and rebellious.
All kids can have a little of that, but these kids have extremes. They are not understood often and neither are their parents.
I know, I need to grow some thick skin, right? Gosh, I have been trying to, but when it comes to my kids, I just thin back out so easily.
I often state, I have nine children. I have raised the ones that do so well. They do not have FASD. Honestly, it is not me. I am giving this all I got.
Give me a break world or get me an IEP!!!
Someone wrote on an FASD board that a man with an autistic child hands out business cards that explain his children’s behaviors.
Maybe I should have done that a long time ago. Now my kids are adult, or near that and it would probably embarrass them.
I love my kids. Lord help the world to understand us. Thanks.
Jon has been gone for 11 days. I have been exhausted. I just collapsed basically, but I can feel myself pulling up some now. I feel like maybe I just came home from a war. Not a war that was won either, but one that just can’t be fought any more.
Jon is now living with our second bio son, Nate. This was a miracle dropped right out of Heaven. Nate was moving at the end of the month and needed a room mate. They have been together now for a few days and all is going well so far. For Nate, this is just fine because Jon has disability and will be a reliable payee on the rent. It won’t bother Nate if Jon is smoking dope. He doesn’t care what his room mates do. He is treating Jon like an adult and allowing Jon to join in with all his friends. Jon is loving this because “chilling” with friends is what he likes to do. Some how that stimulation of having people around is what keeps him happy.
I applied to the school to have Jon on home education for the rest of the year, so that he can graduate. We pick up his work at school and Nate is going to help him finish. He only has one class to pass and in special ed, all you gotta do is try and you can pass. I want to see him walk across that stadium and get his diploma. School has been very hard work from day one for Jon and I. We don’t want all that to be a waste.
Jon is now off all medications and so far, he seems to be managing that too. He even appears to be loosing some weight, which is needed for him. He had gained way too much on his meds. That is the down fall of taking bipolar meds. However I am not settling in on that being a good thing yet. He isn’t in school, so no teachers to fight with, and he isn’t working, so no boss to please. Maybe without all those stressors, he can be ok.
I somehow feel empty though. I can’t fully explain it. I don’t feel lonely and we still have Desi here. She is doing great right now. So it isn’t an empty nest thing. It is more that I don’t have to watch constantly that everything is ok with Jon and having done that for so many years, it leaves me with an adjustment. Can you miss a bad thing? lol. I don’t think so, but there is change to get used to.
We will never give up on Jon. I hope now that we can help him ever further while living outside our home. I hope that our relationship with him can deepen and grow more peaceful. It has never been that.
I know that I felt like I almost gave up my life for Jon and though any mom would probably do that for her kid, I am not Jesus and not equipped to die for anyone. I have a lot of healing to do now to over come all these years of stress on my physical body. I know that God is at work and it feels good to know that I have a chance now to go forward and make progress that I can keep.
Today I have been reflecting on our life with all the kids. Now maybe I can reach back and start blogging on our past a bit. Maybe some of the joyful moments can be brought back up. It sure has been a journey over 31 years. I was thinking tonight that in just two months, I will not ever have to think about grade cards again. Desi and Jon will both graduate. No more IEP meetings, teachers meetings, being mother bear over my child at school, or homework.
That will be another adjustment. On to a new season. We are having two new grand babies in the fall. We sure enjoy the two grand sons that we have now. They are such a blessing.
Am I actually retiring? I didn’t dream that I could do that, lol. I will try. Let’s see how that goes.
Thank you Lord for keeping your strong angels with Jon. What a blessing you have done for us.
A friend had sent me this scripture before we found out that Jon and Nate would room together:
When the world doesn’t have answers
Posted: March 16, 2012 in 2012, Raising Hearts, When the world doesn't have answersGod just has to!!
We had no choice any more. We had to remove Jonathan from our home this week. He was stealing from us too much.
He got himself fired from his job last week also and we knew things were going to change after that. With Jon having money is everything. He tried everything to get more money from his account and tried to get his ID so he could sell his plasma. He was getting desperate and then he bullied me into my office and stole from my office and then manhandled me so that I could not get it away from him.
The last day he was here, he broke into my husband’s locked storage and stole a nice set of his head phones. Then that night he took off with his friends about ten and never came back home. It was a school night.
Things were so out of control and I had just come through a horrible physical break from my adrenals due to the stress. I felt that if he was allowed to continue here, it was coming down to me or him. If I am not here, I won’t be helping his future and he would be on his own anyway.
This actually took alot of faith to do, but when we would not allow him back in after he was gone, I felt like a thousand pounds came off me. It was more that I felt constantly violated in my own house and I no longer have to feel that way.
Jon has been at his druggie friends home all week and he got his last check from McDonalds. I told him to pay some rent to his friend.
He has begged me all week to come home, but I have stood firm. He is great at manipulating me really. I know that now. He will say that he has learned a big lesson. He should have listened to me, but it doesn’t last.
He is not in school this week and of course that means that there is a chance he won’t graduate. That one was pretty hard for me, as I have spent all his school years plowing behind him and I wanted to see him walk across that stage and get a diploma.
I have had to release all my hopes and dreams for Jon, up to God, who alone can help Jon now.
I felt so much peace and relief at first. I realized how badly I needed just some respite but there wasn’t anyone to give it to me. I was desperate. Our world doesn’t have the resources that FASD parents can reach out to. If your child has autism, you have someones compassion and services, but FASD is invisible and not very recognized. In fact more often then not, the parents of FASD kids are judged as bad parents, who caused their problems by not parenting them well.
I am here to tell you that all the good parenting in the world does not always help if the child is as badly damaged as my son is.
My daughter, Desi, has FASD also and she is a joy. She is growing and learning and doing so well. She is not out having sex with boys or doing drugs. She is going to graduate in a few months.
Desi needs our help too, but she isn’t like pouring sand into a bag with a hole in it, as Jon is. Her bag is filling up and over flowing and good is coming out.
Of course marijuana is partly responsible for Jon’s down hill slide. It has taken away what little memory he had to begin with and lately he just seems some what empty.
I cried out for help. I wrote to alot of people and told them that we were at our end. We could not do this any more. I found out that when you are in that much of a crisis, no one even wants to respond. They don’t have answers either. So they don’t even write back.
Now that the initial high of relief has worn off, I realize that I have been living in a war zone. I am having flash backs. If I go in Jon’s room, I almost get physically sick. I can hardly bear to have to see him right now at all.
And yet I am also grieving. Grieving for all the lost dreams that I had for my son. Grieving for the fact that even still, there isn’t any help out there for him. He is basically homeless and I can’t fix that right now.
I know that no one has the answers, but there is also a part of me that is sad that they all just ignored me.
So now it is time God! Time for a miracle for our family and Jon. I don’t have a clue how you can fix this, but I know that you are able. I stand here relying totally on YOU! Keep Jon safe out there Lord. Send more then his share of angels to watch over him.
I won’t give up on YOU Lord. You are all we have!!
Well some victory for a change!
Posted: March 8, 2012 in 2012, Raising Hearts, Well some victory for a change!Today was quite interesting. Today I feel like a huge weight has been removed from my shoulders and I passed a giant test. WOW FASD caregivers, I can share some good news for once, lol
THEY WOULD NOT GIVE ME ANY MONEY AT THE BANK!!!! THEY SAID MY ACCOUNT WAS EMPTY!!!!! *the bank is around the corner from our house, DUH, why didn’t I realize that the ID might be for the bank??*
YES you read that right. I have a serious life threatening illness and this week it hit bad. I didn’t think I was going to make it. I have adrenal insufficiency and my adrenals crashed so badly that is was an Addison’s crisis.
The stress of this weekend with my son was horrific. After he called the police on me, on Friday, he proceeded to go to the bank and withdraw out 500 dollars from his SSI. The bank gave it to him without and ID! I was shocked!
Jon went on to spend that entire 500 dollars in two days and when he finally came home on Sunday, he could not remember what he spent it on, other then a huge tattoo on his arms. He said he bought things and he could not remember what he bought, or where they were.
He was so tired from not sleeping all weekend that I could not keep him awake to talk about it.
The entire weekend made me so upset. Well getting angry is very dangerous for me. It is a luxury that I just cannot afford. It hurts my adrenals and I just can’t have it. When I woke up yesterday, I thought I was done for this earth. I really did. It was scary. I had to take steroids, lots of sea salt and water and I have been in bed every since.
So that entire day, I meditated on Jon and what the Lord would have me to do about him. I wrote this letter to my friend:
Am I enabling? Is he abusing?
Posted: March 2, 2012 in 2012, Am I enabling? Is he abusing?, Raising HeartsYes! That is what happened today. Mike and I are discussing whether or not, we need to get an eviction on Jon now.
Here is the story. Jon is doing dope. Of course you all know that, as I have written many times before about that. FASD has given his brain enough damage so that he does not make positive choices for himself.
He is currently on the edge of not graduating high school with only three months to go, due to this stuff called DOPE!
This mother bear has worked her tail off to get this kid through school all these years. I can’t begin to tell you what it has been like to help a son with FASD get through school
There has been so many calls from the schools over the years for disruptive behavior, fights for IEPS and help, constant discipline at school, teacher complaints, teachers giving up, suspensions on a regular basis, and even a felon on a teacher in high school.
Now we are three months from the end of this tremendous trial and Jon is giving up because of the drugs that are out there.
We have tired every possible thing to get this kid free from this.
We have fined him for it.
We have kicked him out and he comes back like a helpless puppy needing our help and he does need our help.
We have tried lock down and he snuck out the windows at night.
We have tried giving him all his freedom and allowances etc. and he started coming home stoned.
Now we are trying a new thing. We have stopped giving him money, so that he can’t purchase any of this stuff. We feel that we are enabling him that way.
So now Jon wants to go get an ID so he can sell his plasma for dope money. I refuse to give him his birth certificate and social card so that he can go do that.
Ok, so today Jon calls 911 on me. He tells the police that I won’t give him his social card and birth certificate. Well I planned ahead just a bit before they arrived and I called my lawyer. I found out that those documents are MINE and if he wants those documents he has to go downtown and file to get his own.
He probably does not realize yet that those will cost him some money that he won’t have to pay for them.
Here is what happened though. The officers asked me why was I hanging in there with this son of mine who obviously didn’t want to do anything right? They told me that I am enabling him to do these drugs and I need to go downtown and file an eviction on him to get him out of my house.
Then if he comes back here, he is their problem.
OK PARENTS OF FASD KIDS, What would you do??? Would you continue to help your son graduate? Would you kick him to the streets? I would love it if you would share how you might handle this.
Please don’t tell me what I should do. I am going to go to my heavenly Father and pray about what I should do. However I would love to know what you would do if you were in my position. Maybe I can learn from you.
I even asked the officer. “Would you put your son out if he was mentally disabled?” He said no. Then he looked at the ground, as in that moment, he knew my helplessness.
After the officers left, Jon came to my door and rang the bell over and over. I asked him what he wanted, as I was uncertain how he was going to behave after that, and not sure I should let him in the house. He said he wanted to get his stuff. Ok legally he can get his stuff.
He came in the house, ran upstairs where my office was, and began tearing stuff out of my desk. He found a copy of his social, which also had copies of all my family socials and he took it. I tried to get it from his hands and he man handled me, which was abuse to me.
My lawyer was on the phone through all of this and I knew that if I called the police at that moment, I could have had my son arrested for what he did.
He used lots of choice language and went down stairs and cut his part out.
I have endured physical stuff from this kid, emotional agony, and I can honestly tell you that there has never been any real joy in raising Jonathan.
Does this sound sad? I guess maybe I enjoyed watching him in sports etc., but all the pain that has been there through every day with severe ODD behaviors, are mostly what I have on record in my memory box.
It has always been work and hardship. I bet other parents of FASD kids can identify.
I know what joy in raising a child is, as I have nine total and I have been very blessed with my children. I know that I love Jon with every bit of my heart even though I have had all this hardship.
Countless nights, Jon has kept me up with this mess. Countless nights he comes home late with red eyes and smelling. Countless days, I try to help him continue in school. Countless days I am badgered by my son, his anger and bad language.
I keep doing this because I know my son did not choose to be brain damaged. He is unable to live on his own. He doesn’t know how to manage time and get to work. He does not know how to remember to take his meds daily. He doesn’t realize the consequences of his actions.
He didn’t make the choice to be born so damaged.
Do I toss him to the streets?
I have never been one to give up on anything or anyone. I won’t give up on Jon, but putting him out, might not be giving up. I am not sure yet.
Lord, you have a plan for my son. I know that and the plan isn’t for the streets and dope.
You have a hope and a future for my son and the enemy of our souls cannot have my son.
Lord once again, send out the very strongest of angels and minister to my son. Show him how much you love him. Thank you Lord. You are so good to me.
No Drinking in Utero-No FASD
Posted: February 7, 2012 in 2012, No Drinking in Utero-No FASD, Raising HeartsNo Drinking in Utero-NO FASD
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By the worlds standards, my son is grown up.
He’s an adult, but his life was messed up.
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It all began when his birth mom, didn’t know
that alcohol in pregnancy, could damage him so.
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Now he can’t understand, what is so wrong
He wants to feel like an adult. just to belong
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He can’t manage time, money or bills
He can’t remember daily, to take his pills.
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He does not know how to listen, or hear
what could help him each day, for he has no fear
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of the dangers that lie just waiting for him
to reach out and grab him and take him in.
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Risk taking is regular, in his life
and he loves to argue, his point in strife
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As his adopted mom, we chose him
what the future held for us, was very dim.
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We didn’t realize at the time, that our son
would have problems in life, that could not be undone.
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Now we grieve, what he cannot be
because our son has FASD.
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What is that? Would you like to know?
How did alcohol, damage him so?
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Well you see, little babies cannot drink
intoxication for them is the very link
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It pickles their tiny, wee little brains
and causes cells to die, growth looses gains
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Each time it happens, the brain shrinks down
and looses impulses, that carry messages around
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Soon the routes for thoughts do not work right
this poor child’s life, becomes a great fight
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Many say, he’s so bad and not right
they think he is angry and not very bright.
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If he only would listen and learn what to do
All would be well, yes we will fix you.
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Not going to happen with this child you see.
His brain is damaged, He has FASD.
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So life goes on for my son each day.
He tries to do right, but there seems no way.
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He cannot connect, what he needs to grow
He will always be lagging, and struggling so.
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Managing a job, is a task he can’t do
He needs an aid in life, someone just to,
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Keep him on, the right path each day
An overwhelming task, I just want to say.
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My child needs help, for his life to be
safe from bad choices, that he doesn’t see
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Can put him in danger, jail, or the grave.
He does not realize, how to behave.
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I want to tell you, that this is not right.
If you will just listen, please open your sight.
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This can all be prevented, if you will see.
No drinking in utero, No FASD.
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By Terry Quinn http://www.parentingfasdkids.com
That is what the gentleman from DD services called my son today.